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How to Be Happy

So happiness - isn't that the thing that all of us strive to find and keep? Nobody is happy all of the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Studies on what makes people happy reveal that it doesn't have much to do with material goods or high achievement; it seems to whittle down to your outlook on life, and the quality of your relationships with the people around you.




Be optimistic. In the 1970s, researchers followed people who'd won the lottery and found that a year after they'd hit the jackpot, they were no happier than the people who didn't. They called it hedonic adaptation, which suggests that we each have a baseline level of happiness. No matter what happens, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is only temporary and we tend to rebound to our baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that can be attributed in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think. So while the remainder of this article will help boost your happiness, only improving your attitude towards life will increase your happiness permanently. Here are some excellent starting points for doing that:





Follow your gut. In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick out a poster to take home. One group was asked to analyze their decision carefully, weighing the pros and cons, and the other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed their decisions. Now, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but by the time you're poring over your choice, the options you're weighing are probably very similar, and the difference will only temporarily affect your happiness. So next time you have a decision to make, and you're down to two or three options, just pick the one that feels right, and go with it. Never regret the decisions you make though. Just live by the 3 C's of life: choices chances, and changes. You need to make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.





Make enough money to meet your basic needs: food, shelter, and clothing. In the US, that magic number is $40,000 a year. Any money you make beyond that will not necessarily make you happier. Remember the lottery winners mentioned earlier? Oodles of money didn't make them any happier. Once you make enough money to support your basic needs, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.





Stay close to friends and family: Or move to where other members are- so you can see them more. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think increases in salary will make us happier, but the fact is that our relationships with our friends and family have a far greater impact on our happiness than our jobs do. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over $100,000 USD to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from your friends and family. But if your relationships with your family and friends are unhealthy or nonexistent, and you are bent on moving, choose a location where you'll be making about the same amount of money as everyone else; according to research, people feel more financially secure (and happier) when they're on similar financial footing as the people around them, regardless of what that footing is.





Have deep, meaningful conversations. A study by a psychologist at the University of Arizona has shown that spending less time participating in small talk and more time having deep, meaningful conversations can lead to an increased feeling of happiness.





Find happiness in the job you have now: Many people expect the right job or the right career to dramatically change their level of happiness, but happiness research makes it clear that your level of optimism and the quality of your relationships eclipse the satisfaction you gain from your job.[7] If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job, and if you have good relationships with people, you won't depend on your job to give your life a greater sense of meaning. You'll find it in your interactions with the people you care about. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't aspire towards a job that will make you happier; it means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small in comparison to your outlook on life and your relationships with people.





Smile: Science suggests that when you smile, whether you feel happy or not, your mood will be elevated. So smile all the time! In addition, having enough money to pay the bills allows you to focus your energies on more productive aspects of your life, such a the pursuit of happiness as opposed to keeping the 'wolves from the door',





Forgive: In a study of college students, it was found that an attitude of forgiveness contributed to better cardiovascular health. You could say that forgiveness literally heals your heart. While it is unknown how forgiveness directly affects your heart, the study suggests that it may lower the perception of stress.





Make friends who share your interests or faith: In a 2010 study by Harvard researchers published in the journal American Sociological Review, it was discovered that people who went to church regularly reported greater life satisfaction than those who didn't. The critical factor was the quality of friendships made in church. People who went to church and didn't have any close friends there were no happier than people who never went to church. When the researchers compared people who had the same number of close friends, the ones who had close friends from church were more satisfied with their lives.] It's thought that the forming of friendships based on mutual interests and beliefs (and meeting consistently based on that mutual bond) is what makes the difference, so if church itself is not your thing, consider finding something else you're deeply passionate about and making friends who you can connect with regularly based on that.

How to Smile

Frown and you frown alone, but smile and the whole world smiles with you. Not just any smile will do, though. With 19 variations on the smile, including 16 produced by enjoyable emotions, smiling is an incredibly important part of our lives. If you're looking to develop a genuine, infectious smile that can make a bad date turn good, seal a business deal, or help you make friends wherever you go, this article will help you on your way.


  1. Enjoy the many benefits of a smile. In order to want to smile, it really helps to know what benefits a smile can bring to your day. The following benefits are bound to make you lean towards sharing a grin with others most of the day:
    • Smiles improve your appearance. Charles Gordy once quipped: "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks". All you need to do is think about how you feel about a person who is frowning and a person who is smiling – who tends to be the better looking?
    • Smiles make things right again and say much more than words can. If you've goofed, said something less than complimentary, feel lost or alone, or feel down, a smile can restore the balance. It lets other people know that you're prepared to be open with them, and that you're willingly agreeing to make amends where needed.
    • Smiles create trust and rapport. A smile is a great way of establishing mutual feelings of being on the same level as others, whether that is one-to-one or in front of a group giving a presentation. It says "I'm OK, you're OK, and we're all going to enjoy one another's company."
    • Smiles make you feel good. Even if you're feeling a little blue, insert happy thoughts into your mind and just add that smile. It will trick your mind into feeling better, as endorphins are released to reduce physical or emotional stress.[2][3]
    • Smiles make other people feel good. An open-mouthed smile is visible from further away than a frown, offering people reassurance that you're friendly.[4] And it makes people feel better to see a smile, from afar or close-up.
    • Wrinkles are better when they're smile lines rather than frown lines. Mark Twain said: "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been"; viewed this way, smiles are an indication of your overall character, which becomes more and more outwardly telling as you age!
    • Smiling is a good long-term predictor of happier life outcomes.[5] It's correlated with health, happiness, friends, success, and a longer life.[6]
    • See How to Smile for Better Health.
    • See How to Smile to Be Happy.
  2. 2
    A smile lights up your face
     A smile lights up your face
    Become comfortable with smiling. If you're not used to smiling regularly, overcoming your nervousness or cynicism about smiling can take a little practice but like any habit, it's easy to reform with time. Some things to keep in mind include:
    • A smile always looks good. Feeling nervous about the beauty or appearance of your smile is unnecessary. Trust that your smile makes you look great.
    • A smile is professional. Smiling at work or during other professional occasions is not going to make you seem unprofessional. Quite the opposite, a smile will humanize you and make you appear more approachable. People will appreciate your recognition of their worth and of a job well done when you smile.
    • A smile makes you real. If you're afraid of appearing vulnerable when you smile, accept that any form of vulnerability suggested by a smile is precisely what makes it such a powerful act. You're opening yourself up to others and people will respond better to that than to a serious, unmoved demeanor. Moreover, a smile accompanied by an assertive personality will take care of any sense that people will use your smile to walk all over you!
  3. 3
    Make your smile genuine.
     Make your smile genuine.
    Make your smile genuine. While it is perfectly possible to crack a smile when you feel terrible, angry, annoyed, or you're up to something nefarious, a genuine smile is much harder to fake; indeed, only around 10 percent of the population can manage that feat.[7] A genuine smile is detectable by others because it is accompanied by a general glow, smiling eyes where the outer corners crinkle and the lower lid tightens, and a reassuring demeanor that helps the viewer to feel more at ease in your presence. A genuine smile comes from being happy, positive, and from drawing your feelings from the heart.
    • Think happy thoughts. The easiest way to a fantastic, genuine smile is to be happy. Think about someone you care about (perhaps the person standing in front of you as you smile), about something that you genuinely love to do, or think of a funny joke that you just find hilarious. Or think about the happiest moments in your life.
    • Be genuine. Draw on your heartfelt feelings, not just rationalizations. When you're confronted by a person or situation that makes you feel ambivalent and you're oscillating between giving the cold shoulder or smiling, err on the side of smiling – find one single thing in your heart that is positive about the person or situation before you, and use that to create your smile.
    • Love people and your life. It's much easier to produce friendly, easygoing, genuine smiles when you love what you do, when you love the people around you, and when you love humanity in general. Be grateful for all that you have and you'll find smiles come far more naturally.
    • Be playful. Intense times can make us too serious. See life as an adventure, be gentle on yourself and watch children at play. Being playful will bring a smile to your face much more easily.
  4. 4
    Smile with your eyes.
     Smile with your eyes.
    Smile with your eyes. A wholehearted smile will naturally draw in the eyes (called a Duchenne smile). It is commonplace to hear a person say "her eyes were smiling", or to say "he didn't mean it; he was smiling but his eyes weren't". The eyes are essential for a genuine, warm smile. Your eyes light up, twinkle, and reflect your happiness. While it's hard to fake this unless you're really feeling it, you can try this exercise:
    • To get a feel for how to make your eyes smile, stand in front of a mirror and practice smiling, but concentrate only on your eyes. You may find it helpful to cover the lower part of your face with a piece of paper. Play around with it a bit, and you'll find that you can make your mouth smile when your eyes aren't smiling, and you can also smile only with your eyes. When your eyes do smile, remember how it feels, which muscles are working and how. With practice, you may discover how to smile with your eyes at will by relying on your feelings and muscle memory.
  5. 5
    Practice your smile.
     Practice your smile.
    Practice your smile. There is no harm in practicing your smile – doing so will increase your smiling confidence, improve your sense of well-being,[8] and help you to learn which of your smiles are your best. Look at photos of yourself smiling, with a closed mouth, open mouth, and from different angles. Which smiles and poses make your face light up the most? Which smile displays your other features to their best possible advantage? Which smile comes across as the most natural, the most "you"?
    • Find that picture and focus on what your face is doing. Then practice in front of a mirror until you get it just right. Keep practicing, and pay attention to how that great smile feels, so that you'll be able to replicate it without looking in a mirror. Soon it will become second nature, and you'll likely find that you'll look more photogenic in your next batch of pictures.
    • If you want to improve your smile, look at pictures of smiles you believe are beautiful. Also, remember that you're beautiful (inside and out); your smile is bound to look better if you feel good about yourself!
    • Note the difference between a smile and a grin. Grins bare a lot more teeth (think Cheshire Cat) and are not necessarily flattering on all people, although for some people they can make you appear cute. If you're prone to grinning and it's not doing your appearance any favors, try showing only your upper teeth when you smile. Showing your lower teeth can make it seem you're baring your teeth.
    • When showing teeth, pressing the tongue behind the teeth will make small gaps look less noticeable.
    • Practice smiling at random strangers.[9] Make a choice that you'll do this, make brief eye contact with a person, and smile. As you do so, think happy thoughts (it helps to choose someone attractive to begin with). Don't choose a person with sunglasses; you need to see their eyes. Not everyone will smile back but note how you feel when they do!
  6. 6
    Maintain good oral hygiene.
     Maintain good oral hygiene.
    Maintain good oral hygiene. One thing that can cause you to fear smiling is the worry that there is something stuck between your teeth, or that you have bad breath. Eliminate these hygiene sources of worry by taking active steps to keep your mouth fresh and clean. Brush your teeth and tongue regularly, carry floss with you wherever you go so that you can clean up after dining, and have breath freshener on you at all times (natural or commercial). In addition, see your dentist regularly for teeth check-ups and cleaning, as well as discussing options for teeth straightening, etc., if this is a concern for you. When you smile people will inevitably look at your mouth, so following these considerations will help you make a better impression, and, more importantly, a healthy mouth will make you feel more confident about smiling.
    • Visit the dentist for a polishing or whitening. If your teeth are stained, consider your lifestyle habits that bring this about and try to minimize the impacts of such habits as smoking or drinking too much red wine, coffee, soft drinks, etc.
    • Keep your lips in great shape to prevent chapping.
    • Deal with bad breath. If it's surface, cleaning and fresheners should be adequate. If these do not work, it may be a sign of an underlying health problem, so see your doctor for advice.
  7. 7
    Expect smiling to be difficult in some situations.
     Expect smiling to be difficult in some situations.
    Expect smiling to be difficult in some situations. Smiling on demand can be difficult, whether it's for a photo or for the sake of keeping mom happy when the relatives you can't stand visit. This is because you are feeling self-conscious or you lack a genuine reason for smiling. In these sorts of cases, smiling needs to come from your memory of good smiles along with a little self-kidding or jokes in the head.
    • For a photo, smile 20 percent more than you think you should.[10]
    • Smile wide and show the top row of teeth.
    • Return to the earlier steps on thinking happy and practicing your smile. Simply know that you can do this without faking it. In doing so, when it comes to the more difficult people in your life, offering them a smile will also be a means by which you're accepting others for who they are and what they have to offer to the world, rather than worrying too much about their impact on you. You should feel beautiful when you smile, or just act like you are the prettiest person in the world.

best friend


Many people, not all, go through different best friends throughout life. However, usually a person only has one real, true best friend in all that time. A best friend is not only someone you have a good time with, it is also someone you believe you can trust your life with. A best friend is the first person you call when the most amazing things happen in your life, and when the most horrific incidents happen. A best friend is the person you will always remember no matter what comes about. Some people lose the only true best friend they will ever have, and even when they get new "best friends" .. that old, real best friend is always on their mind. A best friend is almost like real family, a best friend gives the opinion you usually care most about. A best friend is the one who tells you the things you absolutely need to hear regardless of whether you want to hear it or not. A best friend is the person you usually can be around always and never get sick of. A best friend is someone you don't envy, and is the person you are grateful to have as a friend. A best friend is the one who will forgive you always, even when you've screwed up so bad. And a best friend is the one who even though you may have drifted apart from, when the time comes for them to hug you or congratulate you on an accomplishment or to console you on a loss.. they are the number one person you want to see, always because they are the person you've confided the most in and they are the person who knows you the best .. even when you both have changed.

Your real, true best friend is your comfort zone.
We weren't best friends anymore, but I still came out for her show. Afterwards, the hug we shared meant more to her than anyone else's and everyone could tell.

How to Be a Great Best Friend

Do you want to be a super best friend but don't know how or where to start that perfect friendship? Have you fallen out with your best mate and want to prove how nice you can be if they'll forgive you? Whatever the reason, this article will help you become a great best friend.

Steps

Respect Yourself First

  1. Be your own best friend first. Learn how to respect yourself. Decide what boundaries are important to you and respect them. Understand what values are important to you, stick by them and seek others who honor those values.
  2. Be yourself. Being yourself around someone is part of what makes you guys best friends. You are who you are, and your best friend will accept that. Being "fake" could lead you to losing your best friend. Be best friends with someone who you know you can be yourself around, because it isn't worth it trying to be someone you're not so you can be closer to someone. Don't hold things in either, so if you feel uncomfortable or have hard feelings against your best friend, talk about it with them. Make things comfortable between you two, and you'll both go through thick and thin together.

Trust Each Other

  1. Trust each other. You may find it hard in life and think that it is impossible to keep your best friend happy. To be a good best friend really doesn't take much. All you have to do really is make sure you can both trust each other with everything and you don't keep secrets. You will go through rough patches but everyone does a some stage in their lives. Just remember though, in order for them to tell you things you do have to tell them things too, even if it's nothing big. Being a best friend means you talk about everything together and you have so much in common. Some best friends do everything together, they have fun and they can be on the phone for hours just talking about their day they have had. You also need to make sure that they know you are always there for them, when ever they need you and that they feel comfortable talking to you about any problems they have. Bear in mind though that sometimes you will have to give the some space so that they can have time alone and think things through. Being a best friend you have to understand them and maybe sometimes or most of the time ask them for advice. You should never keep anything back from them either, even if you think that they will get hurt by it.
  2. Be trustworthy. If they tell you a secret, make sure to keep it. Never ever, ever, tell someone a secret your friend wanted you to keep. Don't even leak it out to someone you know you can trust. A secret is a secret. Don't gossip about your best friend, don't say anything that might turn into a rumor, and don't do things that you know would upset them. For example, if she/he had a crush on a cute guy/girl she/he would be embarrassed if you told someone. Make sure you know your best friend is okay with it. Things like that are sometimes hard to do, but if you want a solid friendship you have to be trustworthy.

Be Loyal

  1. Be loyal. Stick up for your friend when they need it. Respect those times when they need to stick up for themselves. Trust your friend and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. Also come to understand their limits and say "no" when you need to while still being their friend. A friend of integrity is of great value. It is the fact that through ups, downs, and disagreements you still seek to work things out and be their friend that truly demonstrates your loyalty.
  2. Stick up for them. Sitting and watching your best friend get picked on or teased is definitely not going to earn you a brownie badge!! in best friends. If your best friend is getting seriously bullied and you're scared you'll get hurt if you get involved, then get help from a teacher or parents. If you can stick up for them without getting harmed yourself, make sure you do so. Sometimes you can feel totally better after being picked on when a friend tells everyone else to shut up and clear off.
  3. Never leave them. If you do, you'll regret it. Never say "Yeah, I'll walk home with you!" or "I'll meet up with you tomorrow" and then you don't do it. That makes your friend question your reliability. Always do what you say you'll do. trust.

Spend Time Together

  1. Spend time together. Hang out on the weekends or plan activities together every now and then, do some homework together, and chat during break at school. You don't have to live in each others' pockets, but make sure you spend some quality time together with your best friend to make the friendship grow and become stronger.
  2. Share laughs. There is nothing like laughing and smiling to bring people together. Besides, when they're really friends, you guys can laugh at the dumbest and funniest stuff.

Listen

  1. Take a moment to listen. Nobody likes a best friend who just talks and talks, but never listens. If you're a chatterbox, it's okay if you're also a good listener. Whenever your best friend says something, listen carefully and say something. Don't just say "yeah" and move on. Don't interrupt or fidget continually while they're talking to you. If they ask for advice, listen carefully and give them the best advice you can. It'll earn you respect and of course, make them come to you more.

Care For Each Other

  1. Care for your best friend. If your best friend is ever upset then ask them what's wrong. They might not tell you straight away but they will in the end, you just have to comfort them and let them know that you are there no matter what. If a boy has upset them then tell them not to worry or it will be okay because you are there for them and your not going any where. Also tell them that there are plenty more boys out there somewhere just waiting for them and that they will find one that loves them for who they are. Just trying to be a good best friend shows them how much you really care. Just remember to help them when they need it... lending a helping hand to your best friend really doesn't cost much. In the end of the day, they would soon do it all for you.
    • If your friend is away from home, send them cards or care packages to show that you care. If they're sick, call them and ask how they are doing. Show them you appreciate their presence in your life. Write them notes to show that you care and are thankful for them, and ask about their lives. Share your own stories, but make sure you have time for them.

Be Realistic

  1. Avoid Expectations. If you assume what best friends' roles are, you will get disappointed and frustrated. Best friends are one of the most valuable friends you have, but they cannot help or support you in every aspect of your life. Do not expect them to always be there, or expect them to say the thing you want to hear. If you set expectations for your best friends, that will only leave you in a disappointing defeat. Be nice, do not email them saying they are a liar or you won't feel so good.
  2. Maybe you weren't meant to be best friends. If neither of you make an effort to get together, or if you get into fights with them for no reason, then maybe you weren't meant to be best friends. It's natural to stop having chemistry with a certain person, and if you grow apart, just be happy for the good times, and know how lucky you were to have that great person have a part in your life.
  3. If they pick another friend over you, just try to be friends with her friend too. Maybe you guys can be a group of friends! Everyone is always looking for new friends! But never ever leave the old one!

Tips

  • Remember, a friend is a gift for you. You should stick up for them when they have problems. You need to ask them what problems they have. You can't just blabber away and say stuff about them because they never told you anything.
  • Don't be jealous if your best friend has another friend or someone who is always there. It may hurt your best friend's feelings.
  • Don't say things like "No offense," because it will offend them!
  • Don't go around buying a lot of presents for them. They might not have enough money for to buy presents for you. It will make them feel bad.
  • The most important rule ever is to never, never, ever say "My mum/dad has just sent me a text. I've got to go for tea." It's obviously not true and your friend will never trust you again.
Also remember to talk about subjects that are comfortable for your friend, ask questions if they are talking, don't be nosey but be into what your friend is saying let them know you are listening
Remember to keep a conversation going and when possible look them in the eye when you are talking or they are talking.
Remember to treat them like you want to be treated don't treat them like they are below you treat them like they are equal or a "princess" to you, that said don't let them rule you.
Also keep connected email them if they live away from you send letters plan days to get together.
If you do get in a fight try to work things out don't says mean things whether it is to their face or through any letter or technology form try to apologize it might take some time to get over what happened but let them cool down and talk to you when they are ready not when you are ready.
If something is going on at home maybe they are in a bad situation then try to help them get a counselor or a teacher or another adult to help. if it is a abusive situation, get the police.
Always stick to your word if something comes up that is a emergency explain to you friend, be like hey something came up in my family and I can't do what I said I could I have to take care of that situation and apologize and be sincere don't sarcastically say sorry and walk away stand there and be like I am really sorry I just have take care of the situation that came up. Possibly even say what the situation is if its not to personal if so just say something like a situation came up in my life today and I prefer not to say because it is personal to me, and apologize then say I really have to go I hope you will forgive me say bye and walk away. At least then they know something came up. Don't do this a lot just to go somewhere else but use it for emergencies.